Animal Attraction
by KarasumaFirestorm
Summary: Lizzie, Miranda, and Gordo discover the wonders of Animology...
1. The Quiz

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
Author's note: there was an episode of Kim Possible where they talked about Animology - astrology meets...soemthing else...I don't know, it was crazyness, but it amused me, and I thought what the hell, I'll apply it to LMG. So...I did. Hope it amuses.  
(P.S.: I know my author notes always suck, but I really hate writing them because I never know what to say.)  
*Karasuma*Firestorm*  
  
~Animal Attraction~  
Chapter One: The Quiz  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
When Gordo joined Miranda and Lizzie at the lunch table, they were immersed in a book. He raised his eyebrow quizzically. They didn't have any reading assignments currently, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen either of them read anything for pleasure other than a fashion or a teenybopper magazine.  
  
He sat down.  
  
"You're at the mall on a Saturday afternoon, and the pants that you've been saving up to buy just went on clearance. What do you spend the rest of your money on?"  
  
Lizzie pursed her lips and furrowed her brow, deep in thought. "I dunno. A shirt to go with them, I guess."  
  
Miranda nodded, and jotted something down.  
  
"Um, hey?" Gordo said, waving his hand to get their attention.  
  
"Oh, hey, Gordo," Lizzie said.  
  
"What's going on?" he asked, watching as Miranda scribbled down some more notes.  
  
"Animology," the blond said.  
  
"Say what?"  
  
Miranda slammed the book shut and looked at him. "It's only the biggest thing right now, Gordo. You take this test, and you're assigned a color and animal. It tells you what kind of person you are."  
  
"And what kind of person your soul mate is," Lizzie added dreamily, looking over at the cheerleading table, where Ethan was scarfing down a sandwich while Kate and Claire watched admiringly.  
  
Lizzie couldn't possibly think that Ethan Craft was her soul mate, could she? It was obvious that she and Gordo were supposed to be together...at least, it was obvious to him. But Lizzie, as usual, was oblivious.  
  
"Okay, so you're a colored animal," he said, deciding to go along with it. "What're you guys?"  
  
"Haven't finished scoring yet," Miranda said, doing the math in her notebook. "Hey, Gordo, wanna take the test?"  
  
Want to take the test? It seemed stupid and pointless, just another ridiculous trend that meant nothing. But with the way Lizzie was staring at Ethan, blatantly wishing they were soul mates, he felt a hot defiance rising up in him. Maybe this way he could prove that he really was meant to be with Lizzie. "Yeah, sure. I'll take it now, and we'll all find out what we are together, okay?"  
  
"Ooh, a big unveiling," Miranda said. "Sounds good." She pushed the book at Gordo, and he opened it up to the first page.  
  
1) 'You're late to class and you see your enemy drop their books all over the hallway. What do you do?'  
  
Oh, geez. This was stupider than he'd originally thought. And there was a whole book of ridiculous questions.   
  
He sighed, and began to take the test.  
  
~~~~~  
  
At Lizzie's house after school, Miranda shuffled three pages of scoring scribbles and opened the Animology book. "Okay. According to this, I am a...ooh! I'm a purple giraffe."  
  
"Let me guess, a purple giraffe is a freak of nature?" Gordo teased.  
  
Miranda elbowed him. "Shush. 'A purple giraffe is a unique individual, driven to excel in both academic and creative pursuits.'" She looked up. "Hey, that's me."  
  
"Do me do me," Lizzie said excitedly. Her face was flushed slightly, and there was a glint in her eyes. She looked incredible, and Gordo forced himself to look away before she caught him staring at her for the millionth time without a reason.  
  
"Lizzie McGuire, you are a magenta tiger," Miranda proclaimed. "'A naturally vibrant person, believing the best in everyone, the magenta tiger has a good heart.'"  
  
"That's definitely Lizzie," Gordo put in.  
  
"'They're interested in a variety of things, unable to put too much focus on any one topic,'" Miranda continued, and looked at Lizzie teasingly. "Except Ethan Craft, maybe."  
  
"Ha, ha."  
  
"Okay, now Gordo," Miranda said, returning her attention to the book. "Gordo, Gordo, Gordo."  
  
"I know my name, Miranda."  
  
"Just checking. Gordo, you are a navy owl. 'The navy owl has above-average intelligence, and is usually thinking of a million things at one time. They have an affinity for all things beautiful and have a creative streak a mile wide.' Guess they're talking about your movies, Gordo," Miranda said with a smile.  
  
"Get to the soul mates business," Lizzie said.  
  
Miranda laughed. "Eager, are we? You don't even know what Ethan Craft is."  
  
"I'll find out soon enough," she said. "C'mon, Miranda!"  
  
Gordo said nothing. He was just as eager about the 'soul mates' business as Lizzie was, but he didn't want to show it. They would never stop making fun of him if they knew how excited he was.  
  
Miranda flipped through the pages. "Well, according to this, I get along best with tigers, owls, and monkeys." She looked up and grinned. "Hey! Whaddya know, we're meant to be friends."  
  
"Of course, silly," Lizzie said.  
  
"And my soul mate is the red turtle. Ooh."  
  
"What, like the ninja turtles?" Gordo joked. "Raphael?"  
  
"I always liked Michelangelo better," Miranda admitted.  
  
"GUYS!" Lizzie said. "This is fascinating and all, but could we finish what we've started?"  
  
"Right, right. Magenta tiger. Well, it would appear that your soul mate is a..." Miranda trailed off and stared at the page, and very slowly, a smile crept onto her face. But it was soon gone.  
  
"Miranda?" Lizzie said. "What? What is it?"  
  
"Your soul mate is a navy owl."  
  
He *knew* it. 


	2. Magenta Tiger

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
Author's note: thanks so much you guys for the reviews. I didn't know if this was going to work out the way I wanted it, but you seem to be supporting it, so I guess I'll keep going. :D I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who watches Kim Possible...at least that means I don't have to explain too much about the concept.  
  
As far as I know, there is no real Animology, it was just something conceived by the KP writers. Although secretly I am dying to know what I am. I'm probably an orange baboon or something. Hee.  
  
Anyway, thanks again for the support. This is probably going to be different from my other fics, seeing as how those focus mostly on L/G (what can I say? I'm a fangirl), and this one is going to go in an entirely different direction. And as for who the red turtle is...well I guess you'll just have to wait and see. ;)  
  
Love love!  
*Karasuma*Firestorm*  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
~Animal Attraction~  
Chapter Two: Magenta Tiger  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
Lizzie blinked. Navy owl? But *Gordo* was a navy owl. She wasn't supposed to be with Gordo, she was supposed to be with *Ethan*.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah. And here, it says that the soul mate for the navy owl is the magenta tiger." Miranda closed the book and looked up at her two best friends. "Face it, guys, you two are meant to be together."  
  
"Yeah, well, it's just a silly trend," Gordo said, brushing it aside.  
  
"This is *scientific*, Gordo," Miranda informed him hotly. "A whole group of psychologists got together to determine this."  
  
"For once, I agree with Gordo. This is stupid," Lizzie said, standing up.  
  
"Oh, you're just saying that because Ethan Craft isn't a navy owl."  
  
"Look, I'm not supposed to be with Gordo!" Lizzie blurted.  
  
Miranda blinked, and Gordo looked away. Lizzie suddenly felt horrible. She hadn't meant to sound so mean, but really now, it was just too weird for her to be Gordo's soul mate.  
  
"Gordo, I'm sorry," she said, but he waved his hand at her impatiently. "Whatever."  
  
He wasn't even looking at her. Lizzie bit her lip. "I didn't mean it like that," she insisted.  
  
"Yeah, I know. You don't get to be with Ethan Craft forever. Instead, you're stuck with me. I understand." He got up.  
  
"Gordo..."  
  
"See you later." He was out the front door, and slammed it behind him so forcefully that Lizzie jumped.  
  
She sank onto the couch with a dejected expression. "Why's he so mad?" she asked, even though she knew the answer.  
  
"You really are blond Lizzie," Miranda said, shaking her head.  
  
"Well, I didn't mean it. He knows that."  
  
"You just don't get it, do you."  
  
"Get what?"  
  
The brunette sighed. "Gordo really likes you. And you basically just told him he wasn't worth spit."  
  
"That's not true; he knows how much I care about him."  
  
"No, I mean that he--" Miranda stopped herself and stood up. "Never mind. It isn't worth it."  
  
"No, Miranda!"  
  
"Catch you on the flip, Lizzie," her best friend said, out the door.  
  
Lizzie groaned and shoved a pillow over her head. How had she managed to screw everything up in only a few minutes?  
  
She decided to go to her room and put on some loud, angry music. Or maybe some fast-paced pop, dancing might cure what ailed her. As she started for the stairs, she saw that Miranda had forgotten the Animology book on the floor. She collected that and the score sheets and went to her room.  
  
With Linkin Park blasting at a deafening level, Lizzie's tumultuous feelings gave way to mindlessness. And there was nothing better. She propped herself up against some pillows in the window seat, and opened the Animology book. It was broken up into two sections: the first section was the test itself, and the second was the scores. It was a complicated scoring process, no wonder it had taken Miranda almost all day to figure it out. It was broken up into groups by animal, and into smaller groups by color after that. Lizzie found the section on magenta tiger, and scanned it.  
** A naturally vibrant person, believing the best in everyone, the magenta tiger has a good heart. They're interested in a variety of things, unable to put too much focus on any one topic. The tiger is a romantic, quick to bestow love without just cause. **  
Love without just cause, hmm? Did that mean Ethan?  
  
Well, why did she like him?  
  
He was such a hottie, for one.  
  
And why else?  
  
...There was no other why. Lizzie knew he was stupid, how could she not know he was stupid? She just liked him because he was pretty to look it. They had nothing in common, and talking to him was a quick remedy for killing a few brain cells.  
  
But you couldn't help who you liked, even if you knew they were wrong for you.  
  
Blah. She looked at the page again.  
** The magenta tiger gets along best with: giraffes, penguins, and cats.  
** They should avoid: ferrets and horses.  
** Soul mate: the navy owl. **  
Really, now, how could she put so much faith in something so obviously ridiculous? If she was meant to be with Ethan --which she was-- then she was meant to be with Ethan. She didn't need some silly book telling her that he was or wasn't her soul mate.  
  
And what was up with Gordo being her soul mate, anyway? She liked Gordo, yeah, but as a friend. She hadn't meant to make him so mad, but he should've known that she didn't mean it like that.  
  
Unless he had some other reason for being so upset.  
  
Stuck with him? As if! She was friends with him by choice, because he was funny and smart and a good listener. She was lucky to be friends with him, didn't he understand that?  
  
Lizzie closed the book and left it on her window seat. 


	3. Navy Owl

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~Animal Attraction~  
Chapter Three: Navy Owl  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
Gordo stared at his social studies book. He was supposed to be reading up on the civil war, but he couldn't concentrate. Lizzie hadn't just sounded upset -- she'd sounded disgusted. Way to boost his ego.  
  
Why was he so hung up on her, anyway? She'd never look twice at him. At least, not as anything more than friends. He just wasn't boyfriend material, as far as Lizzie was concerned. And the only way he could improve himself in her eyes would be to morph into Ethan Craft.  
  
Nothing doing.  
  
He left the book opened and switched on the computer. Once he was logged onto the internet, he put in a search for Animology.  
  
**Navy Owl: The navy owl has above-average intelligence, and is usually thinking of a million things at one time. They have an affinity for all things beautiful and have a creative streak a mile wide. They always want to learn something new. When it comes to love, navy owls stick their talons in something and hold fast.**  
  
Maybe this was why he couldn't let Lizzie go. This stupid Animology business was fairly accurate.  
  
**The navy owl gets along best with: giraffes, panthers, and toucans.  
**They should avoid: cats and porpoises.  
**Soul mate: the magenta tiger.**  
  
It was there in *print* that he and Lizzie were supposed to be together. Never mind that it was in the same text that said 'go hang out with a panther'. Okay, so it was a stupid trend, but it hadn't been wrong yet.  
  
He leaned back in the desk chair and stared at the ceiling. He should do something. But what?  
  
What he wanted to do was call Lizzie. Against his better judgment, he wanted to apologize for being a derk. He hated fighting with her, and he hated being mad at her.  
  
But she deserved it. She'd cast him aside, labeled him as unworthy. He was supposed to apologize for that? No way.  
  
He thought about calling Miranda. Then again, maybe she was still at Lizzie's, the two of them sitting in the living room, laughing about how ludicrous it was that Gordo was Lizzie's soul mate.  
  
Gordo sighed. What he needed were some guy friends. To talk about sports and girls and scabs and something other than this Animology junk.  
  
Hey, Ethan himself had once said that it would be cool if the two of them hung out.  
  
Maybe if he started hanging out with people like Ethan, girls would notice him. Not just Lizzie. But other girls. *Better* girls.  
  
He closed his eyes. Pretending like he didn't care wasn't easy. 


	4. Purple Giraffe

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~Animal Attraction~  
Chapter Four: Purple Giraffe  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
Miranda settled back onto her bed. Red turtle...who was a red turtle?  
  
Maybe if she looked it up in the book, she could figure it out.  
  
But as she reached for her backpack, Miranda realized that she'd left the book on the floor of the McGuires' living room. Fantastic. She should call Lizzie up, but what good would it do? Either she would have to go over there to retrieve it, or Lizzie would have to come over here, and to be honest, she didn't really want to face Lizzie right now. Besides, more likely than not, she would bring it to school tomorrow to return to Miranda.  
  
Miranda loved Lizzie, she really did. But sometimes the girl was completely useless as a human being.  
  
Here was Gordo. Wonderful, perfect, smart, funny, cute, caring Gordo. And he liked Lizzie. And Lizzie was completely oblivious.  
  
It just wasn't fair!  
  
Why couldn't she have been born a magenta tiger?  
  
~~~~~  
  
The next morning, Miranda was incredibly late to school. She'd planned it that way, hoping to avoid Lizzie and Gordo at all costs. Suddenly the thought of being around either of them made her feel nauseous.  
  
She ducked into her first period class a few seconds after the bell and slid into her seat, to be greeted instantly by a pop quiz. In a sick way she was grateful for it. Pop quizzes meant no chance talking to either of her best friends.  
  
The rest of the morning went fairly well, she thought. Through some stroke of luck, she managed to avoid the both of them until lunchtime. As it turned out, Lizzie and Gordo were avoiding each other.  
  
They all sat down simultaneously at their usual table, a move that certainly wasn't planned. "Hey, Miranda," Gordo said, his tone light, but with a subtle dramatic hint. Normally she got annoyed when Gordo, easily the most mature of their trio, got like this, whiny and very Matt-like in his mental level. But this time, she felt it was justified, and therefore only half-smiled at him instead of making a degrading comment about how stupid he was being.  
  
"Hey, Miranda," Lizzie echoed, a lot less subtle in her silent treatment, as she flashed Gordo a pointed glare before smiling at Miranda.  
  
"Um, hi," Miranda said, and found herself staring at her tray after glancing at Lizzie only a few seconds.  
  
Suddenly, Gordo's silent treatment towards Lizzie annoyed her more than ever. He was going out of his way to prove to Lizzie that he didn't need her. Which only made it all the more obvious how much he wanted her.  
  
It was like a dagger in Miranda's chest. Or her back. She wasn't entirely sure anymore.  
  
"Pop quiz today, huh," Gordo said, digging into his sandwich.  
  
"Yep," Miranda agreed, tracing the edge of her orange plastic tray, where the rim was breaking off.  
  
"I think I aced it," he continued easily, as if this was any normal lunch period, and he wasn't ignoring Lizzie and Miranda was actually giving polysyllabic answers.  
  
"Cool."  
  
"Yeah, quizzes are really Gordo's thing," Lizzie said dryly. "And speaking of quizzes," she dug in her backpack and produced the dreaded Animology book, "I have your book, Miranda. You left it at my house last night."  
  
Miranda smiled weakly and stuffed the book in her backpack, desperate to get it out of her sight.  
  
Gordo glared at Lizzie. "Sleep with it under your pillow, did you?"  
  
Lizzie huffed indignantly. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Well, I figured you were probably keeping it so you could erase my name from the soul mate section and put in Ethan's," Gordo said bitingly.  
  
"Ex-*cuse* me?" Lizzie said, her voice raising an octave or two. "FYI, Gordo, this wasn't my idea in the first place. And just so you know, I don't--"  
  
Miranda couldn't take it anymore. Why didn't they just admit the truth and start making out in front of her? Even that would be less painful than this flirting-disguised-as-fighting crap. She slung her backpack over one shoulder, grabbed her tray, and almost ran out of there. 


	5. Feathers and Fur

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
Author's note: this chapter is really short and really bad, so I apologize in advance. I had to move the story along somehow. I'll try to get the next one up soon.  
  
~Animal Attraction~  
  
Chapter Five: Feathers and Fur  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
"What's with her?" Lizzie asked, staring after Miranda.  
  
"I thought you weren't talking to me," Gordo said, rolling his eyes. He knew how immature he was being, but he was at the point where he didn't really care.  
  
"Well, this isn't about us anymore," she answered, looking at him pointedly. "It's about Miranda. I mean, obviously, something's wrong."  
  
"Obviously."  
  
"Oh, don't get all Gordo on me. What did you say to her?"  
  
"What did *I* say to her? Why is it always my fault?"  
  
"Well, maybe because you fly off the handle for no good reason."  
  
"I happen to have a very good reason!" he said, his voice rising. "I happen to discover that my best friend suddenly doesn't think I'm worthy!"  
  
"It's not like that!" she insisted. "I didn't mean for it to sound that way!"  
  
"What way exactly did you mean for it to sound? *More* rude and hurtful? 'Cause I just don't think that's possible."  
  
"Excuse me if I don't want to be soul mates with some Gloomy Gus!" she spat.  
  
Gordo stared at her. He was angry, sure, but what she had just said was so bizarrely out of character that he couldn't control the giggle bubbling up in his throat. It erupted, and he fell against the table in laughter. Tensions being as high as they were, it was pretty much uncontrollable at that point.  
  
Lizzie looked at him for a moment, her face expressionless, then suddenly she broke into a wicked grin and started laughing with him. They were banging their hands against the table, practically in tears, unable to stop laughing, even though it hadn't really been that funny.  
  
Finally it subsided, and Lizzie wiped a tear from the corner of her eye before fixing him with a serious stare. "Listen, Gordo, I know what I said, and I know how it sounded, but you have to understand that I just blurted it out without thinking. You know me, it's what I do. And of *course* I think you're 'worthy,' 'cause you're my best friend in the universe, and I wouldn't hang out with you if you totally sucked. So I'm sorry, okay?"  
  
Gordo's gaze was on his tray for a long time, digesting her apology. She sounded sincere. And he knew that she was sincere, because she was...well, she was Lizzie. She didn't apologize if she didn't mean it.  
  
He sighed, and poked at his lunch with his spork. "Okay."  
  
"Forgiven?" she said with a hopeful look.  
  
"I guess so."  
  
"Great. Now you can help me find something out."  
  
He felt nauseous. She was just apologizing to get him to help her with something..? "Oh, no way are you dragging me into one of your stupid schemes," he said angrily. "If you want to find out what stupid animal Ethan is, count me out."  
  
"Nooo," she drawled, looking offended that he'd even suggested such a thing. "I want to find out who's a red turtle."  
  
"Red turtle?" he said.  
  
"Yeah, a red turtle. Miranda's soul mate? I thought maybe that would cheer her up a little."  
  
Yeah, and make me more miserable in the process, Gordo thought. Still, he couldn't really say no to Lizzie. He'd never been able to. Not when they were four and she wanted his extra cookie, not when they were fourteen and she wanted him to help her change her entire personality so that Ethan would like her.  
  
"Fine," he said. "I'll help you find the red turtle." It sounded like a bad detective movie. 'Lizzie McGuire and the Hunt for the Red Turtle.'  
  
What was he getting himself into? 


	6. Red Turtle

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
Author's note: another sadly short chapter. My apologies, but my attentions are on other fics than this, I'm afraid. It's going on hiatus for the time being, but stay tuned!  
  
*Karasuma*Firestorm*  
  
~Animal Attraction~  
  
Chapter Six: Red Turtle  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
When Kate got to her locker after school that day, she was surprised to find Gordo waiting there. "Excusez-moi, Gordork," she sneered, "but I think you're lost."  
  
"Unfortunately for me, I'm not."  
  
She put her hands on her hips and glared at him, waiting for him to say more.  
  
Gordo sighed. "Listen, Kate, as much as it pains me to say this, I need your help."  
  
"Me? Help you? As if!"  
  
To his credit, or discredit, depending on how you were looking at it, Gordo didn't back down. "You're the most popular girls in school, right?"  
  
True to nature, Kate flipped her hair. "Of course I am."  
  
"Well, then you'd know all about this Animology stuff, right? Like, who is a what?"  
  
Kate glared at him, but not meanly. "What do you want to know?"  
  
~~~~~  
  
Lizzie was completely unaware of Gordo's fact-finding mission, and annoyed that he'd abandoned her, she accosted Miranda at her locker after school. "Listen, Miranda, what's wrong?"  
  
"What do you care?" Miranda said sourly, practically throwing her math book in her locker.  
  
"Of course I care! You're my best friend! Whatever it is, you can tell me. Is it about this Animology stuff..?"  
  
"You wouldn't understand. Gordo likes *you*," she said, and stormed off.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lizzie called after her.  
  
Miranda stopped dead in the hallway, turned on her heel, and the fierceness of her glare was apparent even from this distance. "I didn't think it was possible, but you've out-blonded yourself, McGuire. If you *really* can't figure out what's wrong, I feel sorry for you."  
  
Lizzie was far too confused to chase after her, and instead pouted and gazed into space.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Hey, Claire, I'm looking for a red turtle," Kate said, as she came to a stop in front of Claire Miller's locker, Gordo in tow.  
  
Claire ignored this statement, and looked distastefully over Claire's shoulder. "What's with the dork shadow?"  
  
"This isn't the time, Claire. Red turtle. Do you have the goods?"  
  
Claire turned her full attention to her leader. "Right, red turtle. That would be the one and only Ethan Craft."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Gordo had taken off so quickly that Kate and Claire hadn't noticed, and when they finally became aware of his absence, they, being Kate and Claire, didn't care. Neither did Gordo, who skidded to a stop so fast he almost crashed into Ethan Craft. Whom, coincidentally, he'd been looking for.  
  
"Ethan," he panted desperately. He bent over, hands on knees, trying to get the air to circulate. He was embarrassed that he was out of breath. He was embarrassed that he'd made that mad dash to find Ethan Craft, of all people, but he'd wanted to find the guy before he left the school, and the odds of an imbecile like Ethan staying after classes were over was highly unlikely, so he'd rushed.  
  
"Yo, Gor-don, what's up, dude?"  
  
"You're...into that...whole...Animology...thing...right?" Gordo said, finally slowing down his breathing to a normal rate and straightening.  
  
If Ethan thought his behavior was weird, he didn't show it. "Yeah, that stuff's pretty awesome. I'm a red turtle. I'm misunderstood," he said, drawing himself up with a certain amount of pride. Gordo cocked an eyebrow, but said nothing. Ethan looked at him again. "So what are you?"  
  
"Navy owl," Gordo said, "but that doesn't matter. You interested in that whole soul mate business?"  
  
"Why, do you know who mine is?"  
  
"As a matter of fact, I do..." 


	7. Silver Cat

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~Animal Attraction~  
  
Chapter Seven: Silver Cat  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
Just as Gordo and Ethan were talking, Lizzie had the misfortune of running into the very gruesome twosome her best friend had abandoned. Seeing as how the eighth grade lockers were in alphabetical order, Lizzie was unlucky enough to be sandwiched between Parker Mackenzie and Claire Miller. Parker wasn't so bad, especially since she'd apologized profusely for calling Gordo short, but Claire was another story. They'd managed to work out an unspoken schedule that allowed them to never run into each other outside of class. But apparently after school, all bets were off.  
  
At the moment, Claire was rifling through a pile of notebooks systematically, trying to find the one she'd scribbled the math assignment in, while Kate leaned against the row next to her, looking effortlessly cool.  
  
"Oh, hi," Lizzie muttered, keeping her head down as she spun her lock, knowing full well it was useless to even attempt civilized conversation with the queens of mean.  
  
But to her surprise, Claire turned to her and smiled almost sincerely. "Hey, Lizzie."  
  
Lizzie's eyes widened, and this sudden burst of unnaturalness caused Kate to lean forward, craning her neck around Claire's open locker door to peer at them.  
  
"Um...hi," Lizzie repeated. "What's up?"  
  
"Do you know what the math assignment was? I can't find it."  
  
Oh, she just wanted the homework. It explained a lot. Lizzie finished turning the combination, hit her locker in just the right place, and pried it open. She pulled out her math notebook, and handed it to Claire. "It should be there on the last page," she said, turning her attention to her backpack. No point in trying to fake politeness with Claire Miller.  
  
She heard the telltale ruffle of the pages being flipped, then the scratching of pen against paper as Claire no doubt copied the assignment. "Oh, look, McGuire's into Animology, too," Kate said, but the disdain in her voice wasn't up to its usual level, and when Lizzie glanced at her, she wasn't wearing a sneer.  
  
"Yeah," Lizzie said cautiously. "I'm a magenta tiger."  
  
Kate tossed her hair over her shoulder and smiled smugly. "Silver cat."  
  
"Black horse," Claire said, and something clicked in Lizzie's brain, something about getting along with cats and the need to avoid horses. Well, staying away from Claire was a no-brainer, but Kate as a friend?  
  
Well, stranger things had happened. As a matter of fact, it *had* happened before, way back in their past.  
  
"Oh, that's cool," Lizzie said, for lack of anything better to say.  
  
"Magenta tiger...your soul mate is the navy owl, right?" Claire said, passing back the notebook. Lizzie blinked, then nodded. "The only navy owl *I* know is your little friend Gordo," she added with perfect nonchalance. Over Claire's shoulder, Kate smirked, and Lizzie felt blood rising to her face. She hastily looked down, busying herself by stuffing the notebook in her bag. Did Claire have the entire Animology book memorized? If only she dedicated this amount of effort into her studying, she could have been named valedictorian.  
  
"Aww, wassamatter, Lizzie?" Kate said. "Got a crush on the Gordork?"  
  
"I do not," Lizzie said hotly. "Just 'cause some stupid book says we're soul mates..."  
  
"Pity you're not Ethan's soul mate, huh," Kate tutted, shaking her head.  
  
"Yeah, if you were a purple giraffe, wouldn't everything be easier?" Claire said.  
  
Lizzie's eyes widened. "A what?"  
  
"A purple giraffe is the soul mate of a red turtle," Claire explained slowly, like she was talking to a child. "And Ethan is a red turtle."  
  
Miranda was a purple giraffe, and her soul mate was a red turtle, Lizzie remembered. So if Ethan Craft was a red turtle, that could only mean one thing...  
  
Lizzie slammed her locker shut and tore down the hallway. 


	8. Hard Headed & Hard Shelled

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~Animal Attraction~  
  
Chapter Eight: Hard-Headed and Hard-Shelled  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
"Miranda?" Ethan said. "As in, Miranda Sanchez?"  
  
"How many Mirandas do you know," Gordo said dryly, unwilling to believe that he was actually having a conversation with Ethan Craft, even less willing because it was actually important.  
  
"Um..." Ethan said, eyes glazing over as he debated this. "Just the one."  
  
Gordo suppressed a sigh. "Yeah. So."  
  
"Me and Miranda?" Ethan said. "Like, whoa."  
  
This has to be a first. Ethan and I actually agree on something, Gordo mused. "My sentiments exactly."  
  
"Say what?" Ethan said.  
  
"Totally," Gordo clarified.  
  
"Oh, yeah. So...um...what do I do?"  
  
Gordo thought that this must be how Ethan felt most of the time: completely clueless. He had no idea what to do now, about anything. He and Lizzie were soul mates, but Lizzie wanted to be Ethan's soul mate. However, Ethan was *Miranda's* soul mate. And Miranda, for some reason or another, was mad at both Gordo and Lizzie.  
  
"I have no idea," he admitted. "What do you...what do you think about Miranda?"  
  
"Uh, I dunno, she's cool." Ethan shrugged apologetically. "I don't really know her that well, dude."  
  
"You could...ah...you could get to know her better?" Gordo said. "If you want...I could set something up. I mean, if that's not too much of a pain."  
  
"Well, she's my soul mate, right?" Ethan said. He seemed to be seriously considering this. "Then...I guess it's, like, supposed to be, and stuff. So...yeah."  
  
"So is that a yes or a no?" Gordo said impatiently. He really had no idea.  
  
"Yeah, you know, why not? It'd be cool."  
  
"Okay, great," Gordo said. "How about tomorrow, after school? The Digital Bean."  
  
Ethan nodded. "Cool beans. Heh," he laughed, "beans." At Gordo's blank look, he added, "Like the DB? The Bean?"  
  
"Ohhh. Yeah, good one."  
  
"Catch ya later, Gor-don," Ethan said, waving as he headed out.  
  
Not a full minute later, Lizzie appeared at the end of the hallway, running towards him, hair flying, a mad look on her face (crazy-mad as opposed to angry-mad, and he wasn't sure if it was the lesser of two evils). "Did you know who he is? the red turtle? Miranda's soul mate?"  
  
"Yeah, I--" Gordo started to say, but was cut off when Lizzie half-shrieked, "*Ethan Craft*! Of all people, *she* gets Ethan!"  
  
Gordo could feel his anger and hurt rising up again in a red tide. Once again, he was the figure in the background, only wanted when he was of use. He bit his tongue, figuratively and literally, and as sharp pain flooded his mouth, he said evenly, "Kind of parallel to that whole fake-marriage thing, isn't it?"  
  
Lizzie stared at him, bemused, and he continued ruthlessly, fueled by sheer annoyance. His tone was completely calm, innocent, almost oblivious. "I mean, Miranda gets partnered up with Ethan, and as usual, you're stuck with me."  
  
Lizzie looked like she didn't know what emotion to be. She settled for anger, and narrowed her eyes at him. "You're not going to start *that* again, are you?"  
  
"What do you mean, start *that* again. That business where you cast me aside completely because I'm not good enough? Because I'm not Ethan Craft?"  
  
"You like me, don't you," she accused.  
  
Gordo was taken completely by surprise. "What?"  
  
"You heard me."  
  
"What does that have to do with anything?" he said angrily, focusing on the anger he'd been repressing in order to hide his embarrassment. Because however she found out, she was still absolutely right.  
  
She looked slightly flustered. "I was talking with Miranda, and--"  
  
"Yeah, remember Miranda?" he interrupted, glad for the opening. "I set up a thing with her and Ethan tomorrow."  
  
"You. Did. WHAT?" Lizzie screeched.  
  
"Yeah, so could you tell her?" he said nonchalantly.  
  
"I can't believe you. I can't believe you. I can't believe you," she said.  
  
"I'd heard that somewhere."  
  
"You...I...she..."  
  
"So are you gonna tell her, or what?"  
  
"She's still not speaking to me."  
  
"Well, fine, I'll do it," Gordo said. "Catch you later." 


End file.
